Our lives seem to share in the cycles of the seasons. While they may not follow the same trends of time, they mirror their purposes and I’ve found myself pondering these reflections more and more with every cycle I take around the sun, still living in unpredictable Massachusetts.
I used to see winter as the season of death, but now I’m realizing it’s meant to teach acceptance. We spend months enraptured in the freezing cold, being forced to spend more time indoors and often alone. We come face to face with our thoughts and the grim realities of our lives because it’s hard to focus on joy when the surrounding world is unpleasant. So we ponder the reasons we live where we live, and the value of the people in our lives that fill the boredom when we can’t enjoy going outside, and therefore we reflect on those that are no longer around. Winter is when most people enter romantic relationships because of the loneliness that lurks in the cold. But if we listened to what this season was really trying to tell us, we would look backwards for some time and instead of overwriting the past that we’d like to forget, we would witness with eyes wide open and hearts ready to feel every ache of what is lacking. It would not happen instantly, but with time, observing and processing that pain, bits of acceptance would fall one by one into our hearts so that we could move forward feeling a little more whole. And we would be prepared to continue forging ahead and create the will to hold out patiently for new hope and love, even if it doesn’t show up that day. Even if it’s seasons away.
When we find ourselves in a place of acceptance, there is less urgency to get to the ever-elusive spring that often teases it’s return in New England, causing us not to trust it’s stay for weeks after the warmth is set to stick. This time of the year is all about hope and patience. It is the season of growth, of implementing what one has learned from their loss, and of welcoming new life. These things take time. We observe new life springing from the Earth, and within ourselves as the dreariness of winter fades. People run from their doors in shorts and t-shirts before it’s quite warm enough because they want it to be warm enough. They are ready for it to be warm enough. They see opportunities for joy and pleasure and they burst into the world to seize those experiences. But alas, spring is still the season of rain, and the Earth will be wet. The waters of rivers and oceans will be frigid. We will watch flowers sprout from our windows as we wait to be able to smell them without umbrellas hovering above us. We cannot rush this process as the cultivation is necessary to bear the fruit. We must allow ourselves to be washed over by the growing pains. Bathe in the rain as we shed our old skins. Adjust to the new wings on our backs as they seem to be ready to fly before we are. Study yourself in this time. Figure out who you are and what you want, but don’t urge the world to give it to you the moment you figure it out. Manifest desires for your future and wait for the Earth to deliver them. They will come when it’s time.
Now summer, my personal favorite, is all about soaking in pleasure. It’s the reward for enduring the previous nine months. It’s a time for play, adventure, and being present with our gratitude. In summer, we have all we need. Life is abundant. There is no boredom because you can always go outside and play in the dirt. Mother nature is there to celebrate with us. This season brings new love, not out of yearning, but from shared joy for the playground that is our lives. These new connections are waiting around every corner as we all are ready to spread our wings. It is pure and giddy, bringing back the moments spent outside in childhood filling buckets with mud and sticks and calling it soup. It is creativity, imagination, and the idea that all desires are attainable. And while it brings all of this vibrance and energy, where there is summer there is also delicious leisure. Laying on towels and picnic blankets, sitting in beach chairs, floating around bodies of water in inflatable tubes. This energy can be present because it is paired with healthy rest that isn’t wrapped up in shame. When it’s cold outside and difficult to leave our homes, we are often guilted into believing that we are not doing enough if we can’t force ourselves to take that walk or go to the gym. In the warmth of the summer, we all agree that we deserve to soak up the sunshine and do nothing but enjoy it. This is a mindset that I wish followed us year round, and maybe one day it will, but for now, we can always count on the midyear heat to give us permission to be lizards on rocks and love every second of it. Because we know the cold is impending once more, and we know we won’t be able to enjoy this time forever.
As universally loved as fall is for it’s undeniable beauty, it is the true time for all things dying. It looks magical and photogenic, so we love and cherish it, but we all know that at it’s core, fall is about loss. We often have periods of life that seem abundant and all we want to do is trap it in a bottle to store forever because deep down we know we are lying to ourselves and can see the things we have slipping away. Partners break up, friendships dissolve, and all plant life dies by the end. But not before we hold on to these loves with two white-knuckled fists as if squeezing the life out of what’s left will preserve what it once provided you. The unfortunate truth is, holding on only kills what’s in your grip. So while fall is about death, it’s also about letting go, because there is no fighting the one sure thing in life. You can’t resist what naturally must leave. So take your pictures, jump in your colorful pile of leaves, enjoy what last bits you have left, and when there’s no color left, release it all back to the Earth for it does not belong to you. We must remember in this season that nothing we hold dear is actually under our ownership. People, moments in time, plans. You don’t have control over any of those things and you must learn with the fading of warmth and descent into cold that you are your only true constant.
Life changes all around us every day. None of us can do a thing about that. The law of entropy was named for a reason. The only state of being we can rely on is the state of chaos. So we must ride the waves of this life and it’s accompanying seasons. You will only be able to find more, and better, in life when you come to terms with what you have lost and make room by letting go so that you can grab a hold of what’s new. You may cherish what you hold for as long as it is meant to be there, but eventually, you will be forced to let it go–whether you opened your hands or it crawled out from inside them–and the cycle will repeat. This is friendships, romantic relationships, family dynamics, life experiences, careers, dwellings we live in, and even our perspectives of the world. None of them are certain. But you can be certain that if you surrender to the purposes of the seasons, you will survive each one and prosper further with the turn of each year.