You Have No Purpose. And That's a Good Thing.

Today’s world is saturated with potential vocations in every area you could possibly imagine from piano tuners to Etsy store owners to pet stylists, you name it. But I don’t believe we all have a purpose. I don’t believe there is one divine niche for every human on this planet to fill. I’ve found this to be a controversial statement because many people struggle to find meaning in life without an expectation from outside themselves guiding them on where or how to be. But my personal belief is that we happened to evolve to the way we are, became technologically advanced, and assigned meaning to numerous meaningless aspects of our lives that would not exist without our level of self awareness because we get uncomfortable when we can’t explain something. From my perspective, all we can do is make the best of the lives we are given and hope that we die with as few regrets as possible. 

I say all of this as someone who has fallen in love with a baker’s dozen possible dreams. I have fantasized about being a chef or owning a restaurant, being a photographer, a painter, a tattoo artist, a fashion designer, a personal stylist, a sculptor, a hairdresser, a writer/author, a sex worker, a social media relationship and sexuality coach, a teacher, and most recently a therapist. I have seriously considered each one of these professions. I have done research on them by watching YouTube videos, reading articles, and asking people in those professions questions about what it’s like to live that life. I see passion and joy in each one of them, but pitfalls as well. I’ve had to be cautious to weigh out what I might love against what might harm me down the line. Will my chronic pain be able to withstand it? Will making money in this way dull my creativity? Will I go into crippling debt to get the necessary degree(s)? And will I need to work additional jobs I’m not happy at to support the one that feeds my soul? It’s hard to believe in purpose when you can see your life branching off in so many different directions and to know that all of them are viable and none of them obvious. 

We’re told to chase our passions, make the leap into the abyss for what calls out to us, but I’m passionate about too many things to pick one and leave the rest behind. And I know I’m not the only one that experiences the world in this way. The irony is that for as many people who feel paralyzed by having too many options in life, there are just as many who don’t see a single path for what they desire. People who work to make money to survive and never discover a one true love in life. These people are just as valid in their way of existing as the rest of us are. 

This leads me to think of the past, before social media, before computers, before the industrial revolution. When life was about growing crops, tending farms, making babies, and surviving, there was little talk of passion. You might find the occasional artist or philosopher that was ignited by existence and felt driven by a force seemingly outside of themselves, but most people fell into the vocation that they inherited or were physically equipped to manage. There were fewer potential job options and therefore fewer opportunities to learn that maybe you would have loved creating ASMR on the internet for a living. These people still survived and even thrived in some cases. Not everyone was fortunate, many struggled to eat and stay warm depending on where they lived, but isn’t that still true today? Hundreds of years ago, you could find tribes of people that felt close to nature, connected to those they lived with, and full of life and love. They didn’t need a divine purpose to feel this satisfaction, they only needed to be human. That was enough.

We’ve created these false expectations for purpose because we live in a capitalistic society that keeps people down, tells them life revolves around money, and shames them for not climbing the ladder in their respective fields. And it tells them that with purpose, they can overcome the failings of this social system. For some people, sprinting towards what they feel they were created for brings them abundant contentment. But not every person is fortunate enough to have that ability, whether it be due to physical, mental, or societal barriers. They’re real barriers and passion can’t break through all of them. 

For the majority of potential vocations on my list, I had to nix them because of chronic physical pain. I can’t be on my feet, hunched over a project, or sitting in front of a computer all day five days a week without being in agony that in many cases would cause my back to seize up. I need to have flexibility. And I don’t want to rely on monetizing my creativity because any attempt I’ve made at that has left me feeling resentful of the need to produce when I’m not inspired. This paring down has led me to the path of therapist, which I’ve since learned branches into it’s own web of possibilities. As of yesterday, I decided I want to specifically pursue becoming a Ketamine Integration Therapist because that work is the only type of therapy that has made a difference in treating my PTSD, severe depression, and anxiety. It felt like a lightbulb moment, that I suddenly knew deep in my heart that this work was right for me and that I could remain excited about it for years to come. 

The realization of the precise path I want to follow led me to wonder if this was my calling that I was made to fulfill after years of questioning. But if I was born even ten years ago, this work would not have been an option at my current age. So where would that have left me? I’d likely have become a different type of therapist. Probably in the vein of trauma, maybe something somatic or eclectic, but not working with psychedelics. And if I was born 200 years ago when psychology wasn’t a field of study yet, what would I have done? Maybe I would have been a painter and suffered through boring commissions. Or a seamster that set fashion trends. I can’t say. I can’t even say if I would have discovered those passions at that point in time or if I would have been trapped in some other miserable life with nothing to call exciting. 

I believe releasing ourselves from the need for purpose opens up the possibility for balance. A life where we can enjoy what we do and make just enough money to be comfortable, or not enjoy what we do and make so much money we can throw it at lavish vacations and delectable dinners, or something else entirely such as being a parent that feels satisfaction with raising a happy family and not needing to be an instrument of capitalism in that way. We have choices that we’re free to make when we’re not seeking an undeniable destiny. I can choose to be a type of therapist that will never want for a job once I’m fully credentialed, but I’ll need to go through years of grueling schoolwork first and I likely won’t make extraordinary sums of money, but I should be comfortable enough to not worry about it. I’ll be able to sit while working with clients, but get up to greet them and use a standing desk to take notes if I so please. I’ll have options that work for me. This wasn’t my destiny that was written out for me from birth, but I’ve found my way to this option that has presented itself to me and I’m choosing to say yes to it. I feel good about that choice. And I could have felt just as good choosing another treat from my baker’s dozen because I didn’t put the pressure of my entire life on a single purpose. I might even pick up a different one of those treats down the line. Or five of them. Because I’m not locked into my future. Neither are you.